so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
