this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
