Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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