k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
