Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
