I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
