imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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