I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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