Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
