i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
