I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
