Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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