I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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