I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
