I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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