I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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