JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
