She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
