By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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