i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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