Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
