I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
