I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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