Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
