allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
