you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
