shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
