I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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