He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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