Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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