My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
