What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I love you.
Bad choice
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
