You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
