i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize