ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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