It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
