I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
