Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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