you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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