You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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