so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
