I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
