that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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