So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
