I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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