I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
