Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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