I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
