only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
