are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
