I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she peed on how many people?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
