he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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