So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize