Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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